Selfie - ABC
I was really looking forward to this one because I'm a fan of both Karen Gillian (due to being a Whovian) and John Cho (due to being a Sleepy Hollow fan). This rom-com sitcom is mostly an updated take on that old classic, Pygmalion, better known to non-literates as the musical, My Fair Lady. Eliza Doolittle and Henry Higgins are now Eliza Dooley and Henry Higgs and are played by Gillian and Cho, respectively. Eliza is turned from a poor, lower class woman into a fairly well-off woman who is obsessed with social media and Henry is well, roughly, the same. The pilot is somewhat humorous although most of the jokes involve Gillian being shallow or immature, which isn't a great character to build your show around. The show sort of reminds of me of that failed Rebel Wilson show, Super Fun Night, another one-trick pony that really had no substance. This show is guilty of falling into the same trap unless the chemistry between Gillian and Cho save it. Also, all the references to social media are irritating and grating. And unfortunately that appears to be the modus operandi of the show.
Should I watch: Watch if you like rom-coms and are willing to face constant jokes about your social media obsessions. Don't Watch if you avert your eyes when Buzzfeed shows up in your Facebook feed and you're not into cute, fish-out-of-water romances.
Manhattan Love Story - ABC
Talk about grating and irritating. Yeesh. Take two painfully white characters who exhibit the worst tropes of romance stories and put them into a boring rom-com where they cavort around yuppie New York City and you almost get this wretched thing. But first, you have to add a gimmick where the audience can hear the protagonists' thoughts. Yeahhhhhhh, no. Definitely gonna have to pass on this one. Although I will say that the people in this are very pretty for, you know, a cast of exclusively white people.
Should I watch: God, no. Watch if you literally have nothing else to do and want background noise. Don't Watch. Just don't.
Happyland - MTV
MTV continues it's slate of non-music related programming (seriously, change your name) with another teen targeted show set in a local NotDisney theme park. It's a pretty standard story settling on a Romeo-and-Juliet starcrossed-lovers plot where the poor girl falls for the rich guy framed against a fairytale backdrop. Yawn. At least there aren't any werewolves in it. Although there is a twist that possibly implies incest so that's always fun.
Should I watch: Watch if you're in high school and haven't discovered good TV yet. Don't Watch if you just want Liquid Television to come back.
Stalker - CBS
This is quite possibly the worst pilot of the year and with good reason. Offensive, often boring, and terribly written, this show is pretty much one you should stay far, far away from. It's basically about this crime unit that investigates cases of extreme stalking where the victims are in possible danger, typically death or severe mental trauma. The episodes features not one but TWO cases, one where two women are set on fire with gasoline by a male stalker and another where a guy in college just has an obsessive friend who he punches or something. You know, just to show who stalking affects everyone equally. This show is pretty gross as it glorifies sexual abuse and assault for entertainment value and in turn makes one of the protagonists a misogynist prick also a former stalker. Fun!
Should I watch: Watch if you enjoy weekly images of women being killed and stalked horribly. Don't watch if you're better than that. You're better off watching NCIS anyway if you're on CBS.
Bad Judge - ABC
You got that right. It's pretty bad. Ever since The Bad News Bears, there has been a fascination with people doing occupations badly. There was Bad Santa, Bad Teacher, and the remake of Bad New Bears. And only half of those starred Billy Bob Thornton! There was also a Bad Teacher TV series which failed and this show will probably fail too. The problem with these shows is that they are essentially a one-trick pony. They establish a gimmick and deliver on it but in the end there's nothing much more beyond that. In this episode, we meet a female judge who is pretty good at her job but is pretty bad at life. She likes to party, says off-kilter things, and hangs out with a troubled youth. This is the kind of thing that fits better in a 2 hour movie, not 12 hour season of a television show. Even Ryan Hansen AKA Dick Casablancas can't save this show.
Should I watch: Watch if you like the same gimmick over and over. Don't watch and just watch Bad Santa. It's pretty good.
Gracepoint - FOX
Procedurals are done but if any genre has had an upswing in the past two years it's definitely detective shows. Trust me. They are very different. True Detective jumpstarted interest in the US but shows like Top of the Lake and Broadchurch from the UK have been getting buzz for awhile. It seems like a smart move to rebrand one of those shows for American audiences in Gracepoint, which is a mostly direct remake of Broadchurch set in America. Even David Tennant returns as his character. I've never seen the original so this all new to me and I'm very intrigued so far. The story is about a small coastal town after a boy seemingly commits suicide by jumping off a cliff. Two detectives figure it's actually a homicide and start investigating the town and uncover it's secrets. It's very Twin Peaks-ish without all the the supernatural elements and weirdness but the drama and intense emotion is very present. I can't wait to see how this mystery is solved.
Should I watch: Watch if you love a good mystery and need something to hold you of until True Detective returns. Don't Watch if you've seen Broadchurch and it's pretty much familiar, although I hear this will change later in the series.
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