The Unauthorized Saved By the Bell Story

The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story is most assuredly a Lifetime movie of the week. It's packed to the brim with overacting, underacting, licensed music, and fancy camerawork done by an aspiring cinematographer. The movie is based on actor Dustin Diamond's tell-all book which he admits he didn't even write. In fact, the biopic was ghost-written by someone else who Diamond gave general prompts saying that working on the show wasn't the best experience for him. The other cast members had only positive things to say about their experience, however. So naturally, the movie is told from Diamond's POV or at least it starts that way. Unfortunately, the film's major problem is that it really can't decide who the protagonist of the story really is. Is it the creator of the show, Peter Engel, who fought the hardest for the show's success? Is it Mark-Paul Gosselar, the wunderkind behind it's continued success? Was it Berkeley, or Vorhies, or Thiessen who braved their own insecurites about acting and their inexperience to become three of the most iconic female characters on television? Or is it actually Dustin Diamond, who's odd and memorable portrayal of Screech was perhaps overlooked as part of the show's early success and legacy? Was it Dennis Haskins?!

The answer is that all of these people were a major part to the show's success (although Haskins' involvement was indeed played down in the special). While soulless executives and producers bickered about the show's future and its financial gains, the stars carried on with their normal lives as teenagers with hormones. Relationships starts and end. Contracts are broken. Friendships are lost and gained. And it's those moments that make this film work. When the special focuses on the relationships between the child actors, there is some real chemistry. In particular, Tiera Skovbye shines as a young Elizabeth Berkeley, a young actress who wants to find real social applications in her work. There is a particularly great scene where she tries to convey the emotions of a drug addict for an infamous episode of the show, much to the chagrin of Diamond. It helps that the cast is largely made up of unknowns, most of which who channel their actors as well as the characters they portray in scary, accurate ways.

The unfortunate side of this film is just how much of it is based on blatant lies ranging from funny to downright slanderous. The first time I noticed something wasn't right was perhaps the moment when Dustin marches straight up to the president of NBC's office without anyone in the office batting an eye. The president puts off a call about a pilot called Seinfeld (really?) so he can talk to the "big star" that walked in his office. Mario Lopez is represented in the film as an idiotic douchebag who never respected Diamond or any of his coworkers save Gosselar. Perhaps it was true but the portrayal comes off as just a loose exaggeration of A.C. Slater, which is character he played and NOT the person he is. Even Gosselar comes off as a two-faced brat, in between telling off his mom and spending his money on frivolous things like sports motorcycles. Gosselar's love life also seems to be the focus of the special, oddly. First of all, there's no way Diamond could have been around for every moment of these teens' lives and even if he had the 411 on their romantic exploits, he certainly plays them in a fairly favorable light, even if Gosselar did eventually dump Vorhies for Thiessen.

This is what makes Unathorized a hot mess of bullshit. What could have been an interesting exposé into how a cultural landmark was created turns into a "tell-all" piece filled with hurt feelings and tales of woe. It's a real shame too because the entertainment is there without any of the fabricated stuff. But that's to be expected from a man like Diamond, who never stopped being a consistent source of entertainment in both his professional and personal life.

Afterthoughts

- Two real-life things aren't mentioned in this special: 1.) The fact that Dustin Diamond did a porno after Saved By the Bell and 2.) Mario Lopez was actually accused of date-raping a woman in 1993 but no evidence as found to support it.

- Also not mentioned: Diamond alleging he slept with 2000 women during the filming of the show including the executive VP director of children's programming at the time

- Did you catch the blink-or-you'll-miss-it reference to Showgirls where Berkeley picks up the glitter encrusted bra top and smirks?

- They got a lot of play out of Cameo's "Word Up." I swear I heard it played at least five or six times.

- Nice pointed references to the fact that Gosselar wan't a natural blonde and is actually both Dutch and Indonesian

- I'm not sure if Diamond's actor actually nails the pure weirdness and comic timing of Screech as Diamond himself did. And perhaps no one can.